Connection / Harmoni

"My sister says I've a restless soul
Restless soul, restless soul
Easy to catch but I'm hard to hold
Like a song on the wind that you caught one day
I get under your skin, then I slip away"
(Rose Betts, Irish Eyes)

Let's dive in… not just into the cold lake water, which is already working wonders on my body, but also a little deeper into my inner self.

And so, as the last cranes fly away, the last remnants of my "old" self fade away as well. When a person fully merges with everything their inner world has to offer, there simply isn't any room left for anything that doesn't belong to them or isn't part of who they are.

And only then do things really start to happen. Situations that used to terrify me suddenly bring me joy. Fear transforms into determination. And my heart opens up… 🤗❤️‍🔥

And perhaps it's also partly because autumn has already set in here in full force – my favourite time of year has arrived even earlier here than down in the Czech Republic. 🍂 So I'm enjoying it to my heart's content. Morning temperatures close to freezing aren't all that rare anymore. The air smells of freshness and a slower pace. You could almost cut the melancholy with a knife. Especially mine, given my departure is now so close. Even though I know I'll be back in a few months, it tears my heart to pieces, only for it to leap with joy again at the very thought of being here. It's impossible to put into words – it's just a feeling. This journey of self-discovery, in search of a sense of belonging – and perhaps even something more – has surpassed everything I've ever wished for. (And my dreams and imagination can be very vivid indeed.)

One thing that surprised me about myself – I simply love meeting new people! (No, I really wouldn't have believed a few months ago that I'd ever feel this way.) Whether it's deep conversations, sharing a laugh, or feeling grateful for help. And I suppose it's true – I just needed a Swedish viking environment to bloom… 🌸☺️

Harvesting corn, millions of pumpkins, farmers' markets (whether at the castle or elsewhere), mushrooms springing up before my eyes wherever I look. This is romance to me! And if you add to that waking up in a beech forest by the lake, still green… oh my! 🎃🏰🍄🌳

And I mustn't forget my first (September) Oktoberfest either. My second Swedish family – who are actually originally from the Netherlands – invited me to a party. So, for the first time in my life, I put on a dirndl and off we went to celebrate… and yes, the beer was strong enough that I had to walk all the way back to get my car the next day. 🍻 And, amongst other things, I never tire of hearing people's guesses about my age. That said, at that party it was a bit extreme – I really don't look 24. It was probably because of the darkness… 😅🥰

The last month was also all about finishing the fence, including the gate and the large entrance gate on one side of the plot, so that we could finally let our 'runaway' goats out to graze again. But as is often the case, these horned creatures always find a way to escape if they get the chance. So we've had to adjust and repair the fence several times, and now it finally seems that the job is done. 🔨🐐Although… today (28 September 2026) we'll probably start work on fencing off another part of the plot. 😅

As it gradually gets colder, the temperature of the lake water has dropped to the point where it really isn't a joke anymore. Even the jetty and the shower have gone. In any case, I wouldn't have believed that a drop from 17°C to 16°C would make such a difference to how it feels on the body. 🌊 But it's true… anyway, the effect it has on the body is incredible. Every time I get out of the water now, I can feel every cell in my body. It's as if electricity is coursing through me. A really interesting and, at the same time, pleasant experience. And over the last few days, I've made my swims a bit more interesting. 🤭 It's also a much-needed mental reset between farming and working at the computer, as that's what almost every day consists of now. It seems I've found a really good balance between all the activities that bring me joy and some income… 🚜💻

On the subject of cold water – I've realised that a water temperature of 16°C is actually quite a challenge for the body and, under normal circumstances, quite a big risk for someone who isn't used to it. That makes me all the more proud of myself for taking it step by step – now it's no problem at all. (But it is cold, no doubt about it. 😆)

Speaking of the joys in life, pole dancing lessons are absolutely brilliant. I do suffer a fair bit during them (and my muscles and tendons suffer the next day), but it's really good fun and a challenge… and that's just what Markétka likes. Especially when it comes to dancing. 💃 So there I am, hanging from the pole, head up and head down, and I never cease to be amazed at what my body is capable of!

I also really enjoy putting together the vegetable bags for our CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture) customers. We've fine-tuned our teamwork to perfection, so everything runs like clockwork. ⌚

At the start of September, I also received a parcel from the Czech Republic – just so I don't freeze to death here in my summer clothes. 📦 Although my hardening to the cold has probably gone completely out the window… Not to mention that I've already gained 5 kg here, something I haven't managed even remotely in the last 10 years. And that's despite the fact that I drink loads of coffee here (which used to be a problem for me, as I'd actually lose weight whilst drinking it). But it's hardly surprising, given all the hard farm work and all the tasty treats I'm tucking into here. From pickled fish, through all sorts of cheeses, to tonnes of chocolate… 🐟🧀🍫

And then there are experiences that are so personal and profound that I cannot even share them. The fact that someone trusts you and opens up to you so much that they let you glimpse into the depths of their heart (even a broken one) is the greatest honour for me. And this is despite the fact that it sometimes affects me more deeply than one might expect. But my heart has weathered a fair bit, and there's always a little more love and hope left in it… ❤️‍🩹🙏☀️

On the last weekend in September, I went on a trip to the west coast, to Kullaberg National Park, which I'd been planning for quite some time. I set off from the farm in the rain, but after just a few tens of minutes' drive the sky cleared, and I was able to spend the whole day by the sea, with cliffs as far as the eye can see. My soul shines and dances in places like this. ✨

I visited the not-entirely-legal Nimis structure, built from driftwood, in the Ladonia region.

Ladonia (Swedish: Ladonien) is a micronation, proclaimed in 1996 as the result of a years-long court battle between artist Lars Vilks and local authorities over two sculptures - Nimis and Arx.
(source: Wikipedia) 

The next stop was the Josefinelust caves, with the wild sea, rocky cliffs, and beautiful views. I climbed one of the rocks rather too fearlessly for my liking, even though it wasn't exactly the safest thing to do (in other words, if I'd fallen, I'd have smashed myself against the rock, been battered by the sea and ended up on the stony seabed with my whole skeleton in tatters ☠️😅😇), but I'm not easily scared these days.

The final destination was Kullen Lighthouse, where I even sang to myself as the sun set. And on the way back, the full moon shone right in my face the whole time… 💡🌅🌕

And because it wasn't possible to go for a swim on the rocky coast with its strong winds and huge waves, the next day I set off for what has now become my traditional swim in the lake. As soon as I got out of the water, accompanied by the lovely gurgling sound of the engine, a group of elderly gentlemen arrived in old classic Porsches… and of course they were delighted that I wanted to take a photo of their 'pride and joy' on four wheels. 😁

The whole of the following week was a bit of a melancholic spell… my sensitivity really kicked into high gear with the arrival of autumn. But that's just the way it is for me; I am who I am. On the one hand, it's a real strength of mine, because it often means I can help others; on the other hand, it sometimes means it tears me to pieces, and I can be far too intense even for myself… 🍁

So on Saturday morning I pulled myself together again and went to clear my head on a lovely autumn trip to the Forsakar Nature Reserve, with its beautiful beech forest and waterfalls. This time Aronek came with me too, though it's not so easy for the little rascal to climb hills and rocky terrain with me anymore. 🌳🌊⛰️

And as we were only 20 minutes from the Baltic Sea, a stop at the sandy beach in Vitemölle was a must. I did pluck up the courage to go into the sea here, but this was a different kettle of fish… properly freezing! It wasn't really swimmable, so a half-minute dip had to do. 🥶😁

But that feeling afterwards! I'm so bloody proud of myself for how far I've taken this challenge. Cold water has always been more of a nightmare for me, but here it's become an addiction… I'm looking forward to everything my beloved Sweden still has to show me about who I am and what I'm capable of. 🇸🇪 Perhaps this winter, up north, with the Northern Lights above my head… 🌌❄️

Until then, my endless heart will surely piece itself back together again – after all, as always… 🧩🫶

Thank you for everything! 🙏
With the occasional (well, these days rather frequent) tear in my eye 🥲🥹

Yours Wild Doe 🦌